Andrew Laird's "I am what I do"

As I pen this article, a large part of me wonders whether it’s good enough to be published (or read, for that matter). Whether I’m worth the salt of the past decade I’ve spent in the realm of creative writing.

That is the irony as I review Andrew Laird’s latest book, I Am What I Do.

A Greater Burden Than We Bargained For

If you’ve spent enough time in any Western locale, you’ll probably have found yourself steeped in the culture of “you do you (as long as you’re not harming someone else)”. While there are several benefits to individualism, left unchecked it sets us on a path to self-destruction:

…when we constantly feel the need to prove and express our identities to others, this quickly becomes a terrible burden… At best, this is exhausting; and at worst, it’s soul-destroying. It can feel like being under a heavy yoke.(4)

Laird peppers his book with examples of his own and others’ real-life experiences in wrestling with this pressure. He also references philosopher Luc Ferry’s position on how our work and self are so intertwined that daily work is one of the “key areas in which we might create and re-create our identity and so build our worth” (14). Work has become a wide road towards self-actualisation, the pinnacle of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

In fact, Abraham Maslow himself famously wrote in Motivation and Personality:

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.

When the formation of our identities depends entirely on us, we have to work to shape and maintain our own sense of self; it is little wonder we feel this pressure so keenly in our vocations!

Where Does True Identity Come From?

I appreciate that Laird also took the time to address non-Western cultures that root identity in collectivism (15). I grew up with traditional Asian values, so this certainly piqued my interest—if individualism is not the answer, then what about the collective sense of self I was immersed in ever since I was a child?

Deep down, I knew it wasn’t the ultimate solution either. Sure, as Laird suggests, it could help foster a greater sense of selflessness; a healthier dependence on others for a load we aren’t meant to carry alone (16). But basing one’s identity on the group we’re a part of or how we are perceived by others simply lies adjacent to individualism—both principles are built on unstable foundations prone to volatility and abuse, since humans are inherently fickle (and broken).

I realised how deeply affected I was when I examined myself using Laird’s helpful diagnostic assessment (22-26). Despite faring well in certain areas (spending close to a decade in writing school has given me quite the thick skin when it comes to criticism and the propensity to celebrate others’ work), I still get caught up with my imposter syndrome: did I really deserve my accolades? Where did I go wrong in my career journey that I feel like I’m perpetually lagging behind my peers? Can I afford the hustle it takes to become an “outstanding, critically-acclaimed, best-selling author”?

Laird reminds me of the true solution to long-lasting freedom from this draining struggle with identity—Christ:

What we need is an identity that is found in another who won’t abuse such a relationship—an identity bound to one with whom our relationship will be life-giving. (37)

When you think about it, “I am who he is and what he’s done” (41) is the most stable place to find our identity because he is the true source of it. What a huge relief! It means my grades in university don’t determine my worth, the slow trek along my career trajectory is not actually soul-crushing, and my world won’t end even if I don’t make it on The New York Times Best Sellers list. None of that matters because there is nothing we can do that will make God love us more or less when we’re already in Christ.

Aren’t We Called to Give Our Best at Work for God’s glory?

In Colossians, Paul instructs his readers with: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as working for the Lord and not for men” (Col 3:23).

Given that Laird wrote I Am What I Do especially for Christians, this is something I wish he had addressed. If the Christian has tackled the inadequacies of individualism and collectivism when it comes to identity, they’ll likely arrive at this next dilemma sooner or later—what does it look like to do our best at work?

One’s “best” can often still feel like a shifting goalpost. After all, our identity in Christ is not a free pass to do our jobs poorly, but neither is it a call to overexert ourselves towards perfection because that’s “our best” efforts. So, what does “working heartily” or “doing our best for God” in God’s eyes actually look like? This book is intended to be a short 90-page read, but it still feels like a wasted opportunity to expand on our newfound identity in Christ and what that means for how we work.

I Am What I Do is a great book when it comes to addressing the pitfalls that come with basing our identity on our work. It’s the wake-up call many of us need to take a step back and recalibrate. Laird’s written tone is warm, his language reflective and empathetic, as he shows us how Christ overcomes the void in our identity crisis.

This article was first published on The Gospel Coalition at https://au.thegospelcoalition.org/book-review/andrew-lairds-i-am-what-i-do/